


In All My Dreams I Drown

by Deadlihood



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Pirate, Barkeeper Kihyun, M/M, pirate Hoseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-08-25 19:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16666537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadlihood/pseuds/Deadlihood
Summary: Hoseok the pirate is forced on land.





	1. My Jolly Sailor Bold

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song of the same title from The Devil's Carnival.

Hoseok had been drunk for a week.

It had been the most obvious thing for him to do since landing in Barbados. Unfortunately, now he was paying for it. He’d woken up on the beach, bare feet tangled in seaweed. His boots were piled up beneath his head and he stank of stale alcohol, unwashed body, and vomit. He groaned, sitting upright and squinting against the bright morning sun. His head pounded and his stomach roiled, especially when he caught a whiff of himself.

A bath was definitely in order, and some food. He staggered up the beach, toes sinking into the white sand, swinging his boots alongside as he went. It was difficult to make his way up to the inn he’d been staying at, especially with his sword buckled halfway down his hips. He had to stop by a fishmonger stall to readjust it and the fishwife looked disgusted at the sight of him. He gave her a lopsided smile and a mock salute.

The House of Falling Stars wasn’t far from the shore, thankfully, and the maid he bumped into looked at him like she’d seen (and smelled) worse. Within twenty minutes there was a copper tub full of steaming water in his room and he was up to his nose in it. He grabbed the soap the maid had left and started scrubbing vigorously at his hair.

By the time he was done, his skin was faintly pink. He felt remarkably better, although ravenously hungry. He changed into a clean white shirt and found a pair of breeches that didn’t reek of rotting seaweed. His deft fingers did up the laces in the front quickly, although he left his shirt mostly open to let the breeze touch his skin. He hung his boots out the window and smacked them together to get rid of the worst of the sand. On an island there was little he could do to get rid of it altogether, but he could try.

After raking his fingers through his damp hair and tying it back from his face with a colorful scarf, he felt much more presentable. He made his way downstairs to the main room, where a few of the other guests were having their breakfasts. Flopping down at the table near the window, he waited for the barmaid to notice him.  

She brought him a tankard of ale and a plate of bread and eggs fresh from the henhouse. He hadn’t realized how poorly he’d been eating, having been more consumed with the ale. Hyunwoo would have had his head if he’d known what he’d been doing.

He thought of the chest upstairs and what was in it, and called over the barmaid again.

“Do you know of any houses available?”

\--

It didn’t take long for Hoseok to get set up in his new place. It was little more than a one room shack, but it had a fireplace and a bed and that was all he really needed. The space was better than at the inn and he’d be eating his meals there, anyway. He felt more secure in his own place. It reminded him of the ship, in a way.

He tried not to think of his cabin too much, tried to not think of the _Monster_ at all. Too many painful thoughts weren’t good for his recovery, and that was why Hyunwoo had shored him in the first place. So he settled for checking his little shack for necessities, making a list in his head. A broom, definitely, and maybe some salted beef. He couldn’t rely solely on the House of Falling Stars for sustenance, after all.

When he was done checking his meager belongings, he carefully counted out the gold from his hip pouch, then hid the rest beneath the floorboards. He’d been lucky to not get robbed when he’d been blind drunk.

The market was busy at this time of day. Fishwives hung their wares in one corner of the square, calling out for fresh tuna and marlin. Craftsmen displayed their ceramic pots and woven rugs next to a spice seller hawking cinnamon and cloves. Hoseok spent time at a weaver’s stall and eventually selected a new blanket for his bed. Keeping it rolled up under his arm, he wandered to the next stall, a glassblower. In his loose white shirt and patterned silk scarf, with his sword at his hip, it was obvious what he was, and many of the sellers kept a wary eye on him. He smiled at them all. They had reason to suspect him, of course, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be nice. HE waved to the girls hanging out the window at the House of White Roses, blowing an exaggerated kiss to one he knew Hyungwon had a dalliance with the last time they were on the island.

With his purchases of salted beef and rice, he headed back to his shack. He opened the windows to let the light and sea breeze in. Maybe he’d set up a hammock in the trees outside, find a book or two at the market to occupy his days.

When Hyunwoo had shored him, Hoseok didn’t think he’d thought much about what he was supposed to be doing with himself. Being the first mate on the _Monster_ was all he knew how to do. Yes, he was supposed to be recovering, but that wouldn’t fill his days.

Hoseok spread out on his bed, lying on top of his new blanket that smelled faintly of cedar. Maybe a nap, and then dinner at the inn. He pillowed his head on his crossed arms, closed his eyes, prayed for a peaceful rest.

\--

_Hoseok loved the ocean more than life. It was time that comparison had come back to bite him in the ass._

_The waves above him roiled and churned, the stormy sky just out of his reach. No matter how he struggled, he couldn’t break the surface of the water. It sucked at his arms and legs, pulling him down towards the ocean floor. The ghostly remains of ships and the skeletons of drowned sailors loomed beneath him._

_His lungs burned with the effort of holding his breath. It would be so easy to just let go, to stop struggling and let the ocean take him. The water wraiths surrounded him, the souls of the sailors and pirates who had gone before him, beckoning for him to give in. A stream of bubbles escaped his mouth as he started to fade. He sank like a stone, the surface of the water slipping beyond his reach._

_\--_

Hoseok sat up with a start, chest heaving as he sucked in lungfuls of precious air. He forced himself to relax, to hang onto the side of the bed to anchor himself as the dream faded away.

“Just a dream,” he muttered, focusing on the solidity of the bed and the stillness of the ground beneath him. He was on land, safe from the dreams.

He needed a drink.

Stuffing his feet back into his boots and grabbing his crimson jacket from the chest, he set off for the House of Falling Stars. It was so named, he had learned a while back, because a star had allegedly fallen to the island many years ago. Whether that was true or not, not even the natives knew. It had been passed down from generation to generation that it was hard to separate fact from fiction. The inn itself was fairly standard, the tavern downstairs and room for let upstairs. It was popular with pirates and their like because of its proximity to the docks; the proprietor had learned to put up with them in exchange for their coin.

Hoseok was glad that no one approached him at the bar after he’d been served his ale by a pretty barmaid. He grunted a thank you to her and was left to his own devices. He stared down into the golden depths of his tankard, the memories of his dream still tugging at him like tendrils of kelp.

“Hard day at sea?” A musical voice asked. Hoseok lifted his head and saw what he assumed was a bar maid in trousers, at first. Then he noticed the broader shoulders, the narrow hips that balanced out the delicate face. The barkeeper had a face like a water sprite, all elfin beauty. He was leaning on the bar, a wry smile on his face.

“Are you one of those nosy barkeepers?” Hoseok muttered, returning to his ale.

“Are you one of those melancholy pirates?” The barkeeper retorted.

“What makes you think I’m a pirate?”

“Because you’re Wonho. One of the crew on the _Monster.”_

“First mate of the _Monster._ ” Hyunwoo had promised he wouldn’t replace him while he recovered. It would kill Hoseok if he returned to his ship and had been removed from his post.

“See? You are a pirate.”

“And you’re annoying.” Hoseok was in no mood for banter with a barkeeper, unless it involved far more ale.

“For a pirate, you certainly are grumpy.” The barkeeper didn’t sound ruffled by the exchange and wandered away. Hoseok promptly forgot about him for the better part of an hour, nursing his ale and brooding. Then the chatter in the room died away and he heard the sound of a guitar being strummed.

“My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain of glittering gold/there is nothing can console me/but my jolly sailor bold,” a high, clear voice sang out. Hoseok was entranced immediately and turned to see it was the barkeeper singing. He couldn’t tear his attention away as long as he was singing. He was too beautiful to look away from.

“Who is that?” Hoseok asked the man next to him when the song finished and the barkeeper paused to drink some water.

“That’s Kihyun. Quite a singer, isn’t he? Word is that his mother was a siren.”

Hoseok could see the siren connection, between the voice and his unearthly beauty. He’d seen sirens before, never heard them thankfully. Minhyuk had prepared them all with wax to stop up their ears; not a single man was lost when they sailed through those treacherous waters. He remembered the glistening, awfully beautiful faces peeking above the waves, their lovely mouths open wide in a song he couldn’t hear.

Listening to Kihyun sing, he knew that if the sirens sounded like that, he would have jumped to his death.

\--

Life on land swiftly became a routine. Hoseok would spend his days in his shack, reading whatever he could get his hands on and taking his meals at the inn. He drank to stupefy himself into sleeping, but woke up choking on water that wasn’t there. Dark circles began to ring his eyes as he slept less and less.

 He saw Kihyun often from a distance at the House of Falling Stars, but they never spoke. Hoseok had found himself longing for the company of his crewmates, not a barkeeper with the voice of a siren. He started letters to them often, although he rarely could get farther than “I miss you.” His very bones ached for the sea, for the activity of the ship. He was a pirate born and bred, not meant to be on land for long.

He’d been on land for a month when Kihyun plopped himself down across from him at the inn. Hoseok looked up from the dinner he’d been picking at, and glowered.

“What do you want?” He growled.

“What are you still doing here?” Kihyun cocked his head to one side, studying Hoseok like a rather interesting insect he’d just seen. “It’s been weeks, and none of your crew is on the island.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because anomalies interest me. And a pirate living on land, alone, is an anomaly.” He gestured at Hoseok’s hands, thinner now than they’d been on the _Monster_. “You’re not eating well, or sleeping well, by the looks of you.”

“Go away.” It was halfhearted. Hoseok was so starved for human contact at this point that he’d take even Kihyun.

Kihyun saw right through him. “You don’t really mean that.” He picked up Hoseok’s tankard, put it back down. “I’ll bring you another.” He was back in an instant with two tankards and set one in front of the pirate.

“Do you treat all your guests like this?”

“Only the ones that intrigue me. You’re a mystery, Wonho.”

“Hoseok, actually.”

“Hoseok, you are a mystery.” Kihyun rested his arms on the table, peering at him like he could see into Hoseok’s soul. “What are you running from?”

“What makes you think I’m running?”

“I can just tell.” Kihyun looked him over again, the inky smudges under his eyes, the thin, slightly shaking hands. “You’re ill.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“You were sent off the ship to recover, then.” It startled Hoseok how right the barkeeper was. He sifted through the legends of sirens he had heard. Did they have some sort of precognitive abilities? “Captain Shownu must have been very worried to give up his first mate.”

“The…illness was aggravated by being at sea.” He wasn’t exactly sure why he was bothering to tell Kihyun all of this. He must have been very lonely indeed.

“Do you need medicine?”

“Rest and time, mostly.” That was the hope, at least.

“Well, you picked a good island for it at least.” Kihyun smiled and Hoseok felt a little stunned. He was too beautiful to be full human. There was something unnatural about him.

“What about you? How did you end up here?”

“I was born on the island. Took the job as the barkeeper to put a roof over my head.” He snorted. “Do you believe the siren stories?”

“They have merit. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

“You should have seen my mother. A truly beautiful lady.”

“You’re not doing much to dispel the rumors. They say your mother was a siren.”

“My mother was a fishwife. She had chapped hands and a face like a painting, but she was human.” Kihyun shrugged. “If I sing so well people think I’m a siren, so be it. I’ve never led a man to his death.”

It wasn’t just the singing, Hoseok thought. There was something of the otherworld about him, something that Hoseok couldn’t quite put his finger on. But it wasn’t important, really. If the barkeeper wanted him to believe he was human, it wasn’t any skin off his nose.

They talked while Hoseok finished his dinner, until Kihyun was called back to the bar by one of the maids. Hoseok felt better than he had in a while. Maybe human contact was more necessary than he’d thought. Rest and time weren’t the only things he needed for his recovery, it seemed.

In his dreams that night, he drowned alone.

\--

In the days that followed, Hoseok found himself at the House of Falling Stars more often, staying late into the night to avoid sleeping. Kihyun’s company was better than dreaming of water in his lungs. As long as he sat at the bar, he could continue speaking to the barkeeper. He found himself sharing stories of the sea, of the things he’d seen onboard the _Monster_. He told Kihyun about Jooheon and Changkyun, the inseparable ship’s boys who had grown up to be fearsome fighters. He told him about Minhyuk, the ship’s doctor who knew every myth and legend of the sea. Hyungwon, the second mate and Hoseok’s best friend. Hyunwoo, their gentle captain. In return, Kihyun told him stories about growing up on the island, surrounded by pirates and merchant ships. It was easy to talk to him, even if sometimes looking at him felt like looking into the sun.

They spoke little of Hoseok’s illness, although Kihyun often tried to make him eat more and drink less. There was little he could do to force the pirate into doing anything. His company was making the weeks on land feel a little less unbearable.

In the third month he’d been on land, Hoseok was sitting at the House of Falling Stars, having a tankard of ale and listening to Kihyun sing when a hand landed on his shoulder. He spun, immediately ready for a fight, but relaxed as soon as he saw who it was.

“Hyolyn! Bora!” He hugged the two of them tightly, inhaling the smell of the sea that clung to their clothes. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, what else?” Hyolyn kissed his cheek. “Come, we need to talk.” They took a table in the corner, away from prying eyes. Not that the captain and first mate of _The Seven Sisters_ , a pirate ship crewed entirely by women, could escape much notice.

“Have you seen my ship?” Hoseok asked when they were seated.

“We ran into them near Port-au-Prince when we were resupplying. Everyone’s well, before you ask. No problems that Hyunwoo told me about,” Hyolyn said. “We heard you were sick, but not the full story until Hyunwoo told us what had happened.”

Hoseok swallowed hard, looked down at his hands. They were trembling slightly. “You know about the curse, then?”

“And we told Hyunwoo where he might find some help.” Hoseok’s head shot up.

“What?”

“Do you know the captain of the _Exile_?”

“Hyojin, right? Goes by LE. Yes, I know her.”

“She’s the lover of a sea witch. If Hyunwoo can find her, she might tell him how to find the sea witch.” Hyolyn’s eyes softened and she rested her hand over Hoseok’s. “It’s a terrible thing that’s been done to you. But we’re going to help as much as we can to fix it.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” He shook himself slightly. “But enough of this sad talk! Where are Dasom and Jihyun?”

The other two lady pirates joined the table and soon they were the loudest table in the tavern. Kihyun had stopped singing a while ago, but Hoseok hadn’t seen him. He was distracted with his friends and their stories. He hadn’t seen them in almost a year and there was a lot to catch up on.

When Kihyun finally appeared, Hoseok had Bora sitting on his lap as she told him about Hyunwoo’s latest efforts to court her. It was hard to miss the look on Kihyun’s face when he saw the two of them cozied up together.

“Kihyun! Meet my friends!” Hoseok said, gesturing at the table full of women. That seemed to make things worse. Kihyun turned on his heel and walked away, shoulders tight. Hoseok gaped after him, wondering what he’d done wrong. “He’s never acted like that before.”

“Have you been dropped on your head since we last saw you?” Hyolyn giggled. “That boy’s in love with you.”

“Kihyun? No way. He’s just a friend,” Hoseok said.

“The way that Hyunwoo and Bora are just friends?” Jihyun chimed in. “Come on Hoseok, don’t be daft.”

“There’s no way he…” The words died in Hoseok’s throat. “Oh.”

“Yes, _oh_.” Dasom rolled her eyes. “Do you have feelings for him?”

“He’s my friend. It would be like asking me if I had feelings for Hyungwon.”

“Didn’t you and Hyungwon fuck that one time?” Hyolyn asked.

“The only one who says we did is Jooheon and he’s probably lying to mess with us.” Hoseok certainly thought he was lying, there was no way they’d get so drunk that neither of them remembered having sex with each other.

“Well, you better be prepared for him to be mad at you for a bit. Unless you want me to pretend to be your girl,” Bora offered.

“No, I can handle it.” Hoseok didn’t know exactly how he was going to handle it, but it would have to be gentle. He relied too much on Kihyun already to hurt him. Hyolyn and her crew were only stopping in Barbados for two days and then they’d be gone again, off rum-running with the _Monster._

\--

Hoseok waited two days to talk to Kihyun. It was a long time to wait; Hoseok had gotten used to Kihyun’s presence, had gotten used to the routine. But as soon as the _Seven Sisters_ had left the port and Hoseok had finished the bottle of rum they’d brought him, he set off to find Kihyun at home.

He asked around in the market to find where he lived; most of the sellers didn’t want to tell him, probably because he was a pirate, but eventually the spice seller gave in. He gave directions to Kihyun’s house, farther into the hills than Hoseok had expected. It took a while for him to navigate his way through the trees and houses to find it. The smoke puffing out of the chimney told him Kihyun was home. He didn’t bother knocking, just let himself in.

“What the hell?” Kihyun stood up from where he’d been crouched near the hearth. “Can’t you knock?”

“Pirates don’t knock.” Hoseok looked around at the house. It was much homier than his own, probably about the same size but cleaner and full of personal effects. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What couldn’t wait until tonight?” Kihyun crossed his arms over his chest. Hoseok felt something deep in the pit of his stomach flip.

“You were upset the other night. When you saw me with Bora in my lap?”

“I didn’t care. You can do whatever you want.” The words rang false.

“So you won’t care to know that my captain is in love with her, and that she’s a dear friend of mine. Fair enough.” Hoseok sat down, propped his feet up on the table. Kihyun scowled at the sand on the scrubbed surface.

“I hope they’re happy together. Now get your dirty fucking feet off my table.” Kihyun had a temper like an ocean storm, unpredictable and fierce. He slammed things around as he prepared a pot of coffee for himself. Hoseok didn’t like seeing him angry. He was used to men in rages, but Kihyun’s cold anger was different. He left after it became clear that Kihyun didn’t intend to speak to him at all and was just ignoring his very presence.

It took days for Kihyun to warm back up to Hoseok, even longer for them to return to normal. Hoseok drank a lot of rum and ate very little, slept even less. When he did sleep, the dreams were always the same.

\--

By the time he and Kihyun had returned to their normal friendship, Hoseok had learned something terrible about himself; that he did have feelings for Kihyun. They weren’t wrapped up in Kihyun’s looks, or his voice, but in that stupid braying laugh so at odds with his appearance and his wide eyes and easy smile and the way he listened to Hoseok’s stories with rapt attention. Hoseok wished he could dream of him and not of the ocean taking his life.

It was his fifth month on land when he finally decided to talk to Kihyun about his feelings, to see if he still felt the same. He prepared for the occasion by drinking half a bottle of rum and taking a very long bath. Then he dressed in his loosest shirt, the one he thought made Kihyun look at his chest the most, his snug breeches, and the colorful scarf that Kihyun had complimented once. He briefly entertained the idea of bringing flowers, but that seemed too much. In the end, he picked up the rum and brought it along for a walking drink to the house in the hills.

Kihyun was in the hammock reading a book about astronomy that Hoseok had given him when he walked up. “What are you doing up here?” Kihyun asked, struggling to sit up in the hammock.

“Came to talk to you.” Hoseok felt suddenly shy and felt his cheeks reddening.

“Are you too hot? Do you need some water?” Of course Kihyun would worry about him getting heatstroke. He led him inside, served him water and took away the rum. Hoseok felt like an unanchored boat, just swaying in the tide. “What did you want to talk about?”

“You.” Hoseok ruffled his hair sheepishly. “I, um, I…” Kihyun was looking at him expectantly. Hoseok had always been a good storyteller but not necessarily good at talking about his feelings. He floundered for a full minute before he grabbed Kihyun by the shoulders and kissed him. Kihyun was still for a moment before he kissed him back.

They fell into Kihyun’s bed, pulling at each other’s clothes to be skin to skin. Months of waiting had made Kihyun’s appetites stronger, and he forced Hoseok over onto his back, straddling his waist. He kissed down the pirate’s chest, sucking a hickey just above his navel.

“I have wanted you since you first sat down at my bar,” Kihyun professed, marking Hoseok again in the soft curve of his hip.

“I didn’t know,” Hoseok admitted, reaching up to cradle Kihyun’s delicate face between his rough palms. “It wasn’t until recently that I realized I was thinking of you this way.”

“The waiting was killing me.” Kihyun’s fingers undid the laces of his breeches quickly, slipping them down off his slender hips and discarding them behind him. Hoseok had to sit up and marvel at the beautiful man in front of him, all unmarked skin and unworldly beauty. His body in comparison was pocked with scars and tan lines from the ship, calluses from ropes and sword handles. Kihyun was perfect, untouched.

And harder than iron, it seemed. Hoseok ran one callused hand over his length, relishing the hiss that the barkeeper let out. “Kihyun, will you let me fuck you?”

“Gladly.” Kihyun had to get off the bed to find the oil, giving Hoseok the space to finish undressing. He ached for Kihyun, more than he thought he would have. He’d had sex with men before but he hadn’t wanted them as much as he wanted Kihyun. That, he supposed, was a side effect of being in love with him.

Oil in hand, Kihyun lay on his back and propped up his knees, opening himself up for Hoseok. The pirate was gentle, opening him up slowly and with copious amounts of oil to ease the slide. “I’m sorry my hands are so rough.”

“I like them.” Kihyun was flushed, his beautiful face turning a dusky pink. Hoseok felt his heart swell in his chest.

“Are you ready, my darling?” Kihyun nodded, his lower lip caught between his teeth, and Hoseok lined himself up against his entrance, pressing in in one fluid motion. The pirate let out a filthy noise, half-collapsing against Kihyun’s raised thighs.

As soon as Kihyun was ready, Hoseok began to move, his pace steady and controlled. He wanted to please Kihyun first, wanted to see him come undone before he allowed himself to seek his own pleasure. That tight control helped him find the bundle of nerves deep inside Kihyun and press up against it, making the barkeeper whimper and writhe beneath him.

“Ah! Hoseok,” Kihyun grabbed at the back of Hoseok’s neck and pulled him down, kissed him deeply. “Please, faster.” Hoseok could not deny him anything, let alone something he wanted so badly himself. He let his hips speed up and began fucking into him harder. Using one hand to support himself, he used the other to wrap around Kihyun’s length and stroke him in time. It didn’t take long before Kihyun wailed and came over his stomach. Hoseok followed close behind.

They lay together for a long while, catching their breath and looking at each other’s flushed faces.

“I love you, you damnable pirate,” Kihyun muttered.

“And I love you, you insistent barkeeper.” Hoseok laughed and kissed his nose. “Come, we should clean up.” They washed in a bucket outside, hoping none of Kihyun’s neighbors noticed the two men splashing each other like children. They returned to the bed and curled up together, Hoseok’s head pillowed on Kihyun’s chest. With the even, measured strokes of Kihyun’s hand through his hair, Hoseok began to doze off.

“Go to sleep, Hoseok,” Kihyun murmured.  

“I don’t want to go to sleep. In all my dreams…” Hoseok cleared his throat. “I drown.”

Kihyun studied him for a moment. “Why are you on land, Hoseok?”

“I was cursed by a sea witch. The sea I loved so much would take my life. And every night since then, I have dreamed of drowning beneath the waves.”

“So your recovery is permanent on land.”

“Or until my crew can find a sea witch who might be able to lift my curse. We had a lead a few months ago, from Hyolyn and Bora. I wonder what’s happened since then.”

“I hope they’ve found someone to help you, but I can’t say I’m not glad you’ve been on land all this time.” Kihyun slid out from under Hoseok and crossed to the chest in the corner. “I have to show you something.”

He pulled out what looked like a folded blanket at first, shaking it open. Hoseok sat up on one elbow, looking at the dappled gray pattern. At once, it struck him what he was looking at.

“Not a siren then. A selkie.” The sealskin was beautiful, just like Kihyun.

“My mother was a fishwife, after my father hid her skin. She raised me on land because she couldn’t bear to let me go to the ocean alone. After she died, I stayed here, close to the sea.”

“We are a pair then, my love. The selkie and the pirate.” Hoseok took the sealskin from Kihyun to feel the smooth fur beneath his fingers. “It’s beautiful.” Carefully, he folded it up again and handed it back to its owner. “I swear, I will never hide your skin. You will always be free to come and go as you wish.”

“And I will do everything I can to find you a sea witch, so that you may be on the sea you love so much.”

They coiled up together in bed like two snakes, the selkie and the pirate. As far away as they were from the water, Hoseok could swear he felt the ocean’s waves rocking them to sleep. And when the nightmares came, Kihyun was there to comfort him.

\--

Seven months had passed since Hoseok had come to Barbados. His life had become less unbearable since he and Kihyun had confessed their feelings to each other. Still, he yearned for the sea, for his crew, for his ship.

He was at the House of Falling Stars when it happened. Kihyun was behind the bar, serving tankards of ale. Hoseok had taken his usual spot at the bar and was working his way through his dinner. He was just washing it down with a swig of ale when a strong arm wrapped itself around his neck, pressing in. He sprayed ale everywhere as he twisted to see his assailant. The laughter tipped him off first and he stropped struggling.

“Hyungwon, you skinny legged fuck!” Hoseok roared, nearly knocking over his stool as he stood up to hug his best friend. Hyunwoo and Minhyuk were close behind him, then Changkyun and Jooheon. “What news do you have?”

“We should go somewhere more private,” Hyunwoo, always the cautious one, said.

“First, let me introduce you to someone,” Hoseok said, turning back to Kihyun. “This is Kihyun.” Hyungwon was the first one to pick up on why Hoseok was bothering to introduce the barkeeper.

“Well, looks like I’m not the only skinny legged fuck in your life now,” Hyungwon said, reaching over the bar to clap Kihyun on the shoulder. “We’ll be back later.”

They headed for Hoseok’s shack, crowding into the one room. Hoseok was so happy to see his crew that he felt like he could burst.

“We followed Hyolyn’s tip and we caught up with the _Exile_ in the Keys,” Hyunwoo explained. “Hyojin told us how to find her sea witch. We’re here to take you with us to find her.”

“Are we sure that’s safe?” Hoseok asked.

“We can’t exactly bring her to you, so probably, yes.” Hyunwoo shook his head. “I understand why you’re worried but otherwise you’re going to have to be landbound for the rest of your life.”

“Risk for reward.” Hoseok pursed his lips. “Fine. I’ll get ready to leave.”

“And what about your lover?” Hyungwon asked.

“I’m going to ask him to come along.” Hoseok had thought about what he would do if it had ever come to this, and leaving Kihyun behind was not an option. They were too deeply intertwined to be separated now.

“What if he says no?”

“Then I’ll have to go without him. But I don’t think he’ll say no.” Hoseok had no intention of sharing Kihyun’s secret with them. He trusted these men with his life, but Kihyun’s secrets were his own to tell or not.

“Enough of this seriousness! It’s time we all had a drink, our first together in months.” Jooheon led the charge back to the inn, where Kihyun was gearing up to start singing. The crew of the _Monster_ was awestruck by his voice, as Hoseok had been when he’d first heard it.

“Don’t leave your mouths open, flies will get in,” Hoseok teased, chucking Hyungwon under the chin.

“That’s not a human,” Changkyun insisted. “That’s something else.”

“He’s as human as you or me.” Hoseok would defend that truth until Kihyun decided otherwise. When Kihyun finished the three songs he did each night, he returned to the bar and started serving ale to the crew. All the while he was drinking with his friends, Hoseok was plotting how to convince Kihyun to come with him on the ship.

“Come with me,” he pleaded that night in bed. The rest of the crew had taken rooms at the inn and Kihyun and Hoseok had retreated to his house. “I want you on board with me.”

“Of course,” Kihyun replied. Hoseok was momentarily stunned.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. Hoseok, I knew this day would come. I’m prepared to go with you. My blood calls me to the sea just as yours does.”

“Then its settled. In three days, we sail.”

\--

“For a landlubber, he’s certainly adjusting well,” Hyungwon commented, watching Kihyun talking to Hyunwoo about some of the finer points of navigation.

“He’s found his sea legs easily. I’m glad he’s not vomiting all over the place.” Hoseok was having a harder time readjusting than Kihyun was. Not seasickness, thankfully, but a fear that was reborn. Being on land had given him space from the curse. Now he was careful to stay away from the ship’s rails. Hyunwoo had already reduced his duties as first mate to keep him safer.

“You picked yourself a good one, Hoseok.” He patted him on the shoulder and strolled away to check on some of the crewmembers adjusting the sails.

Kihyun drifted over, his dark hair tied out of his eyes with one of Hoseok’s scarves. He was starting to even look like a pirate; in the days they’d been at sea, he’d already been getting a bit of a tan.

“How are you feeling?” Kihyun asked, stepping between Hoseok and the rail.

“Nervous, but that’s to be expected.” Hoseok gave him a soft peck. “And you?”

“Hyunwoo wants to train me to be the navigator.”

“He always did want a dedicated navigator. We’ve just never found anyone with the true aptitude for it.”

“Well, I might be it.” He paused, looking Hoseok up and down. “You look good on a ship, Hoseok. Like you finally belong.”

“I’ve always belonged on a ship. I was born at sea, you know.”

“So was I.” Kihyun snickered.

“Well, navigator, where are we headed?”

“To Barranquilla. That’s where Hyojin says her sea witch is. Hyungwon’s trying to figure out the course right now. I should be helping him.” With a final kiss, Kihyun headed below decks.

Hoseok dared to walk up to the rail, careful to hold on tightly to the scarred wood. He was glad to be home, and gladder still to have Kihyun with him. Still, he was a cursed man tempting fate by being back on the ocean.

He looked out at the horizon to the west. Barranquilla held his first hope for salvation. With any luck, the sea witch would be able to lift his curse and he could be free again.


	2. The Man and the Selkie

“How far are we from Barranquilla?” Hyunwoo asked, leaning back in his chair. Kihyun consulted the maps spread out across the scarred table.

“About another day’s sail. According to Hyojin’s directions, we should land on the eastern shore and take a track into the jungle.” Kihyun glanced over at Hoseok, who had his eyes closed. “Hoseok? Are you all right?”

“In two days, I could be free,” Hoseok murmured. “Such a short time.” He had been cursed for over a year; it had taken him several months to get to the point where Hyunwoo had been forced to put him ashore. He hadn’t been sleeping or eating or acting like himself and Hyunwoo had finally deposited him in Barbados with his clothes chest and several purses of gold.

That was where he had met Kihyun, had fallen in love with a selkie. His lover had gone from barkeeper and singer to navigator aboard the pirate ship, the _Monster._ Not that he didn’t still sing when the waves were calm and the stars were bright. Hoseok loved him all the more for it.

“If all goes well, you’ll be free,” Hyunwoo reminded him. “We don’t know that jungle, and Hyojin’s witch is just as likely to turn you away as she is to help you.”

“Think positive, Hyunwoo,” Kihyun scolded, seeing how Hoseok’s hopeful face had dimmed a little. “We have to keep faith.”

“I just want us to all be prepared if things go wrong.” Hyunwoo’s expression softened. “I’m going to do everything I can to get you out of this, you know that.”

Hoseok could tell that if he didn’t say something to soothe the tension, Kihyun was going to explode. His lover had a bad temper when it came down to it. “I know, Hyunwoo. No one else would do as much as you have for me.” Most other captains would have let a cursed sailor die, or left him for dead on some island. “Now we need to get back on deck and make sure we’re still on track for the eastern shore.”

Kihyun hung back, rolling up his navigational charts and cleaning up the equipment. Hoseok paused at the door; Hyunwoo gave him a look and muttered, “don’t wreck my cabin,” before leaving them alone.

“Ki,” Hoseok said, “you need to relax.”

“I’ll relax once we’ve seen the witch and we get you uncursed.” Kihyun passed his compass over to Hoseok.

“Hyunwoo’s right, Kihyun. We need to be prepared for her to do nothing.”

“Hyojin wouldn’t have sent us to her if she didn’t think the witch could help, you told me that yourself.”

“But that doesn’t mean she’ll be able to lift the curse. We have to be ready for that.”

Kihyun looked at him, eyes slightly glassy. As quick as he was to anger, he was equally quick to cry. Hoseok had grown used to his mercurial moods the same way he had grown used to the moods of the sea.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Kihyun muttered, his throat thick.

“And you’re not going to, not as long as I have something to say about it.” Hoseok wrapped him up in a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Do you want to go back up to the deck?” Kihyun asked, his tears drying up.

“We should get out of Hyunwoo’s cabin at the very least. I was going to run some cannon drills with the gunner crew.”

“Giving Jooheon another shot at being a gunner, then?”

“He seems to have an aptitude for it. Changkyun can hardly believe that Jooheon is doing something without him.”

“They really are inseparable, aren’t they?”

“They grew up together on the _Merciless_. They rely on each other.” Hoseok chucked Kihyun under the chin. “As much as we do.”

“You’re still first mate, Hoseok. You have much more to do than I do.” Kihyun tucked his charts under his arm. “Let’s get a move on, then. I want to check on Hyungwon and make sure he’s still on course.”

Hoseok spent the afternoon sweating and shouting orders at the gunners, drilling them until they were faster and more accurate with the cannons on both sides of the ship. Changkyun sulked nearby, watching Jooheon with the gunner crew. He had no skill with the cannons; all his fighting prowess came into play with his cutlass.

Yoongi, the head gunner, approached Hoseok when the drills were done and the rest of the crew was wheeling the guns back into position. He wiped his forehead with a faded bit of cloth before plopping his hat back on. “You want me to take Jooheon on as a gunner?” He asked.

“He wants to learn and he’s good at it. He’s got better aim than most of the crew. You’ve seen him with a musket.”

“A musket is a good bit smaller than a cannon.” Yoongi crossed his arms over his skinny chest. “What does the captain say?”

“The captain says Jooheon should be allowed to learn. If nothing else, he can be a replacement if someone is injured.”

Yoongi chewed his lip. The head gunner was a tough soul, but he had a soft spot for Kihyun. Hoseok had a feeling if Kihyun mentioned the issue to him, Yoongi would be more inclined to take Jooheon on. “You sure the boy has what it takes to be a gunner?”

“He’s hardly a boy anymore, Yoongi. Give him a trial run.”

Yoongi grunted noncommittally, wandering away.

“Grumpy,” Changkyun said from where he was hanging out of the rigging.

“Come down from there, you overgrown spider monkey,” Hoseok yelled. “Stop sulking and do something with yourself.”

“I could do something with myself,” and he mimed something lewd. Hoseok was glad he didn’t have a pistol on him, or he might be inclined to shoot him.

With Kihyun’s urging, Yoongi agreed to take Jooheon on as a gunner, which excited the young man and led to a celebration in the lower berths. Hoseok attended briefly, long enough to drink a tankard of ale and break up a fight, before retreating to his cabin.

Kihyun was sitting up in bed, reading by the flickering light of the lantern. He had his own berth that he slept in very rarely, preferring to stay near Hoseok to take care of him after his nightmares. Hoseok stripped down to his drawers and splashed a little water on his face.

“Sleepy, darling?” Kihyun asked, not looking up from his book.

“Not particularly.” He dried his face and chest off with a towel. “What’s that you’re reading?”

“A textbook Minhyuk gave me about disease.”

Hoseok made a face. “Lovely night time reading.”

“I thought it might be interesting to learn a little more.”

“Always learning, my love.” Hoseok went to get under the covers and was surprised to see that Kihyun was naked underneath. “Oh, is that why you asked if I was tired?”

“Maybe.” Kihyun’s smile was devious. “I just wanted to be close to you.”

“Your wish is my command.” Hoseok snatched the book out of his hands and tossed it on the floor before pinning him down to the bed with his weight. Kihyun wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a long kiss.

It was easy to love Kihyun, easy to please him. He loved Hoseok’s rough hands and his soft mouth and his broad shoulders. He hung on tight to them as Hoseok pounded up into his body, nails almost digging in painfully.

“Roll over, darling,” Kihyun panted into Hoseok’s ear. He complied and rolled onto his back, letting Kihyun clamber into his lap. The new angle was delicious, almost as good as watching Kihyun’s face as he rode him.

They made a mess of each other, but were riding too high on their orgasmic clouds to get up and do anything about it. Hoseok turned his head and pressed a sloppy kiss on Kihyun’s forehead.

“I love it when you surprise me.”

“And I love you,” Kihyun replied. “Come on, we’ve got to get this off us before it dries.” They mopped up at the washbasin, although Hoseok spent more time grabbing at Kihyun’s ass than he did actually helping clean up.

“Will you sing to me?” Hoseok asked when the cabin was dark and quiet, and his head was pillowed on his lover’s chest. Kihyun didn’t slow his hand’s passage through Hoseok’s hair, now overgrown and needing a scarf to keep it back.

“What would you like to hear, my love?”

“The Maiden and the Selkie.”

Kihyun smiled fondly. It was Hoseok’s favorite, for obvious reasons.

“Once a fair and handsome Seal Lord/Lay his foot upon the sand/For to woo the Fisher's daughter/And to claim her marriage hand/'I have come in from the ocean/I have come in from the sea/And I'll not go to the waves, love/Lest ye come along with me.”

Hoseok closed his eyes, resigning himself to another night of drowning. It was never as bad when he knew Kihyun was there singing for him.

\--

They landed in Barranquilla just before sunset. Hoseok spent a restless night in Kihyun’s arms, sleeping very little and dreaming of the waves when he did. It was early morning when they set off; Minhyuk had drawn the short straw and was left behind with the ship and the rest of the crew.

Hoseok stayed close to Kihyun’s side, unsure of what dangers the jungle might hold. They didn’t have to walk very long to reach the witch’s home. It was a shack, bigger than the one Hoseok had lived in, but not much better kept.

“Remember, be careful and be polite. The last thing we want is another curse on someone,” Hyunwoo reminded them as they approached the front door. Waves had been carved into it, chipping blue paint marking their curves.

Hyunwoo knocked twice, then opened the door. Hoseok held his breath; he’d been waiting for this moment for months and now he was finally here. He could be free.

Hyojin’s lover was younger than Hoseok had expected. She had silver hair that hung to her waist and dark eyes that seemed to roil like the sea. It made Hoseok’s stomach lurch to look into them too long.

“Who are you?” Hani asked, her hands still working busily. She was wrapping herbs in bundles for drying with inked hands. The tattoos seemed to swirl and roil like the sea.

“Captain Shownu and the crew of the _Monster_. Hyojin sent us.” At Hyunwoo’s words, the witch’s head shot up.

“Is Hyojin all right? Is she hurt?” She demanded.

“Last I saw of her, she was in good spirits and good health,” Hyunwoo assured. “She sent us to you because she thought you might be able to help us.”

Hani sighed, leaning back from her work. “Hyojin sends me all the needy in the Caribbean, I swear.” Her eyes fell on Hoseok. “Ah. I see.”

“You see what, exactly?” Hoseok asked.

“The curse that you want me to break.” She stood up and approached. Jooheon and Changkyun instinctively reached for their swords. “Relax. I have to examine him.” Kihyun was harder to coax away and had to be dragged away by Hyungwon.

Hoseok found himself suffused in a greenish glow that reminded him of his dreams, like light filtering down through sea water. He had to force himself not to cry out.

Hani’s eyes were gentle, but Hoseok could tell she had bad news by the set of her mouth. His heart sank into his stomach.

“Tell me exactly what your curse is,” Hani said.

Hoseok remembered the words all too well. “She told me that the greatest curse she could give me would be that the sea I loved so much would be my death. And every night, I dream of drowning.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you.” Hani squeezed his hands regretfully. “I’m sorry.”

“What good are you as a witch if you can’t help him?” Hyungwon exploded. “He’s going to _die_ and you’re _sorry_?”

“Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo warned. Hani didn’t seem ruffled at all.

“The curse is more tightly woven than I’ve seen. Trying to unravel it myself might end up killing him anyway. I simply don’t have the power to take it away.”

“I need to sit.” Hoseok felt his knees giving way. Kihyun ushered him into one of the rickety chairs, holding tight to his hand. Something warm and wet dropped onto Hoseok’s shoulder; Kihyun was crying. Hoseok felt a little like crying himself. He had pinned all his hopes on this.

“There has to be another way out of this,” Hyunwoo was saying when Hoseok managed to pay attention again.

“There’s another witch who may be able to help you. She’s more powerful than me, she might be able to untangle the curse properly.” Hani looked over at Kihyun and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. “Well. That’s interesting.”

“What?” Jooheon asked.

“You may have more help than you think,” she said, and it was all she would say on the matter. She scribbled directions to the other witch, Junghwa, and sent them on their way.

Hoseok was numb to the world as they led him back to the ship. He barely noticed that Kihyun was taking care of him in their cabin. He could only think about the waste of time that the trip to Barranquilla had been, how he was doomed to die. There was no telling if Junghwa would be able to help him either.

He knew, vaguely, that he was lying with his head in Kihyun’s lap. Over the roaring in his ears, he could tell that Kihyun was singing, hiccupping every few words as he tried to hold back his tears.

“Just give it up, Kihyun,” Hyungwon’s voice cut through the fog surrounding Hoseok like a knife. “You’re dripping all over him and I can’t think.”

“What is there to think about? I’m going to die, Hyungwon.” Hoseok sat up, pressed his back against the wall to avoid squishing Kihyun. “I know how I’m going to die, I see it every night. Some might call that a blessing.”

“It’s not a blessing and you know it.” Kihyun’s face was red, from crying and from rage. “You belong in this world. The next can’t have you yet, not without me going with you.”

“And me.” Hyungwon leaned forward in his chair, passing Hoseok the bottle of rum dangling from his long fingers. “We’re going to get this Junghwa to fix you if I have to cut her to bits. She’s only in Mexico; we can be there in two weeks.”

“And what happens when she says she can’t help either? Do we hunt down every sea witch in the world?” Hoseok took a long glug of the rum, savoring the burn.

“If we have to, we will.” Hyungwon’s eyes gleamed and Hoseok realized he was close to crying. “I’m not going to stand back and let you die, Hoseok. It’s not in my nature.”

Hoseok wasn’t comforted, not at all, but he put on a brave face for Kihyun’s sake. He forced down his dinner even though it tasted like sawdust in his mouth and curled up at his lover’s side to sleep. He lay awake for hours, listening to Kihyun’s even breathing.

Kihyun, the most magical creature he’d ever seen. Kihyun, the love of his life. Why had the fates seen fit to make him fall in love with a dying man? It was a cruelty that went beyond the curse that hung over his head.

When Hoseok heard the bells ring for second watch, he dressed and left Kihyun sleeping in a pool of silvery moonlight. Hoseok had been relieved of his watch duties long ago, with Minhyuk and Hyungwon splitting his share of the watch, but he was awake anyway and it sounded like they were sailing into a storm. The air was thick, charged almost. Wind whipped his hair around his face.

“What are you doing up?” Hyungwon demanded when he spotted him. “You should be inside.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Hoseok shrugged. “Let’s get these sails secured.” They fell into their familiar rhythm easily, barking orders to the sailors up in the rigging as the ship rocked and bucked in the storm. Lightning forked across the sky as the heavens opened up and it began to pour. Hyungwon clung to the wheel, fighting the waves, as Hoseok called for the cannons to be secured tighter. Hands rushed to follow his orders.

He had turned to check the starboard cannons when one broke loose on the port side, hurtling towards him. It knocked him back against the railing and for a heartstopping moment, he teetered on his back, before his weight tipped him off the edge.

“Man overboard!” was the cry that woke Kihyun, and the part of him that belonged to the ocean knew exactly what had happened. Hyunwoo was pulled from his cabin to keep Hyungwon from diving after Hoseok; ropes were loosed, hands rushed to help. No one noticed Kihyun until it was too late. He had come flying out of the cabin with what looked like a length of gray fabric in his hands. Hyunwoo wasn’t quick enough to stop him from jumping over the rail. He disappeared beneath the waves.

The seal that had been Kihyun swam desperately towards where Hoseok was thrashing under the water, struggling against the current to reach the surface. He had inhaled some water when he’d opened his mouth to scream as he fell, and his struggles were growing weaker.

Kihyun hadn’t had a plan when he’d jumped in the water and he certainly didn’t have one now as he peeled his skin away from his body, turning himself back into a human. The two of them glowed beneath the water, ghostly pale against the ocean’s depths. Kihyun sent a silent prayer to the goddess of the sea before he wrapped the skin around Hoseok.

The transformation was as instantaneous as it was for Kihyun; Hoseok became a seal, his clothes and sword drifting to the murky bottom. Kihyun’s lungs began to burn from the strain of holding his breath for so long. Hoseok began to swim to the surface, Kihyun trailing behind him. The seal’s sleek head broke the surface first.

“There!” a voice shouted, and oars broke the choppy surface of the waves. They made their way to where the dark head of the seal had been; he had dove under the water to look for Kihyun, who had lost his strength. He towed him the last few feet to the surface, where he sucked in a lungful of air desperately.

Kihyun was pulled into the boat first, naked and coughing. “Did you see him?” Minhyuk demanded, searching the waves for another shape. The seal knocked into the boat. “What the hell? That’s a seal!”

“That’s Hoseok!” Kihyun leaned over the edge of the boat, holding fast to the seal’s shoulders. “Please, help me pull him in!”

“That’s a seal, Kihyun!”

“It’s fucking Hoseok and if you don’t want to lose him, you’ll help me pull him into this goddamned boat!” The ship’s doctor knew enough of the sea myths to place his trust, however blind, in Kihyun, and had the other sailor help heave the seal, slick and dark, into the boat. The winches groaned and squeaked as the weight of the boat inched its way up to the railing. They helped the seal onto the wet deck with a _slap_.

“Where’s Hoseok?” Hyunwoo looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel when he saw the seal.

Kihyun looked him in the eye with as much confidence as a naked man can have before his captain. “I’m a selkie. I gave him my skin to save his life.”

Hyunwoo stared at him with an open mouth, before closing it with a snap. “How do we turn him back?”

“He has to do it himself.” Kihyun knelt on the deck. “Hoseok, can you hear me?” The seal’s intelligent dark eyes looked into Kihyun’s and he felt the weight of his lover’s stare. “Darling, come back to me. Take the skin off.”

He tried a few different ways to get the skin off before he sank his teeth into the meat of his shoulder and tugged, hard. He lay sprawled on the deck, coughing and wrapped in a length of seal skin. Kihyun dove on top of him, hugging him hard.

“Oh, my love,” Kihyun whispered into his hair. “I almost lost you.”

“You saved my life.” Hoseok sat up, curling Kihyun tighter in his arms. After having been a seal, having human arms felt odd.

“Get inside, both of you, before you catch your death.” Hyunwoo shooed the two of them into their cabin. Kihyun made sure to snatch the seal skin off the deck before he relented.

Minhyuk brought them tea and hot stones to tuck into their blankets. The two of them sat huddled together, teeth chattering, but gloriously, brilliantly alive.

“I never thought I’d meet an actual selkie,” Jooheon said, breaking the silence. Changkyun elbowed him. “What? I didn’t! Imagine us having a selkie as part of our crew.”

“That’s what Hani meant by us having more help than we thought.” Hyungwon had been sitting quietly, watching the two of them be fussed over. “She knew what you are.”

“Sea witches have always known too much,” Kihyun said. He was sitting on his seal skin, eyeing everyone in the room suspiciously. “You’re going to catch your death if you don’t move that skin,” Minhyuk had huffed, but there was no convincing him to move. He may have trusted them with his life, but not his skin. Only Hoseok. Hoseok, who had worn his skin, who knew him more intimately now than he ever had before.

“You’ll always be safe on this ship, Kihyun, I promise you that,” Hyunwoo said. Anyone who stole Kihyun’s skin would be flogged and thrown off the ship at the nearest port.

“Thank you, Hyunwoo.” Kihyun leaned against Hoseok’s shoulder, letting his eyes flutter shut.

“Come, we should let them rest.” Minhyuk shooed the crew out of the cabin with promises to come check on them later.

The two of them shuffled towards their bed, skin still damp and salty. The seal skin went directly into Hoseok’s lock box hidden under a stack of books. Hoseok had never been happier to see his bed. He had very nearly lost everything that night, if not for his Kihyun.

“I can’t thank you enough, Ki,” Hoseok murmured, holding his lover close.

“Don’t thank me, I did it for selfish reasons. I couldn’t bear to part from you.” Kihyun kissed his lips gently, glad they both had lips to kiss still. “We’re alive and safe and that’s all that matters, my love.”

That night, Hoseok dreamed of flying.


End file.
